Sir Gareth Southgate has voiced concerns about the growing influence of online gaming, gambling, and pornography on young men, warning that they are in dire need of positive role models beyond internet influencers. Speaking at the BBC's annual Richard Dimbleby Lecture, the former England football manager reflected on his own experiences, including the painful memory of missing a crucial penalty in Euro 96—a moment that, he admitted, still haunts him to this day.
Southgate stressed the importance of guiding young men towards better life choices and helping them overcome their fear of failure. He expressed concern that instead of turning to teachers, sports coaches, or mentors, many are seeking direction online and falling under the sway of toxic influencers. "These figures manipulate young men, convincing them that success is measured by wealth and dominance, that showing emotion is weakness, and that the world—especially women—is against them," he said.
During his speech, he revisited his infamous penalty miss in the 1996 European Championship semi-final against Germany, a moment that shaped his character. "Missing that penalty was a defining moment—it made me stronger and revealed a resilience I never knew I had," he said. He contrasted his own experience with that of Eric Dier in the 2018 World Cup, when England, under his management, won their first-ever penalty shootout. "In 1996, I walked to the penalty spot expecting to miss. In 2018, Eric walked to the penalty spot expecting to score," he noted, highlighting a shift in mindset over the decades.
Reflecting on his career, Southgate played for Crystal Palace, Aston Villa, and Middlesbrough before earning 57 caps for England between 1995 and 2004. As a manager, he led the national team to the 2018 World Cup semi-final, the 2020 and 2024 Euro finals, and the 2022 World Cup quarter-finals. He stepped down in July, two days after England's Euro defeat to Spain. Recognized for revitalizing the England squad, he was knighted in December's King's New Year Honours.
As part of the prestigious Richard Dimbleby Lecture series, which has featured speakers such as King Charles III, Bill Gates, and Christine Lagarde, Southgate emphasized three crucial factors in shaping young men's resilience: identity, connection, and culture. He cited a recent Centre for Social Justice report warning of a "crisis" among young men, with rising numbers disengaged from education, employment, and training.
"Too many young men feel isolated," Southgate stated. "They struggle to open up to friends or family. They lack mentors—teachers, coaches, bosses—who can push them to grow. As a result, they withdraw, turn inward, and seek guidance in the wrong places. Instead of learning from failure, they avoid trying altogether." He warned that shielding boys from challenges today would only make life harder for them as adults. "Too many young men fear failure because they've had so few opportunities to experience and overcome it," he observed.
Reflecting on his football journey, Southgate concluded with a lesson in resilience. "Success is much more than the final score," he said. "True success is about how you respond in the hardest moments." His speech, which has reignited debates about the struggles facing young men, is now available on BBC iPlayer.。